Bend Into Change

Amy Eisenman's picture

For those of you not familiar with Game of Thrones let me introduce you to Daenerys Targaryen. She is one of the lead female characters in the series and consistently breaks current day societal norms. She is powerful, ambitious, sympathetic (at times), and the mother of dragons (literally has three dragons, pretty cool, right?). While Game of Thrones is a fictional tale, I can't help but be in awe of this woman. While the season is unfortunately over I'm excited to see what the next season brings for this vivacious character.

Through the three seasons I have watched (and that I'm recommending you watch as well!) we have watched her grow from an abused girl married away to a man who doesn't speak the same language to a conqueror ready to take the Iron Throne and be the ruler of all the kingdoms. Many of her struggles are ones which do occur in reality (minus the dragons) and the writers of the show have provided her with some amazing "one liners" to demonstrate her character. The most recent, and the one which I cannot stop repeating is, "things which do not bend, break." Clever, clever, clever, and how unbelievably true! We all naturally have a "default," that thing we do when times get tough. For some it may be walking away, yelling, punching a wall, or even various forms of self harm. These "defaults" can be learned behaviors and/or action urges which are tied biologically to our emotions.

I frequently see people, myself included, struggle with adapting to new ways of doing things, new ways of thinking about things, and utilizing skills. It is a challenge to go against our own "default" however, if we don't, what lands up being the consequence? Do we eventually break? Do we break a relationship? Do we break our self respect? Do we break an opportunity? All of these can happen and many can be destructive in multiple forms. To begin the process of change we must first accept the current situation we are in. Easier said than done! From there, we must be willing to do what works and keep in mind that what works is not always what is easiest.

Yes, this process is challenging. Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, we will all go to our “default” in the beginning of the change process AND we can eventually do it. Remember,  “things which do not bend, break.” Let’s try bending into change and embrace the challenges that it entails. After all, we’re not really sure what will happen if we break… just some food for thought!